I went back and forth in my head for a long time about whether or not I was going to put my CD online and I decided to. I think everybody needs at least one hobby. For me, it's this website or my writing or making music. For most of my life, when I was bored in class I would scribble down lyrics in the back row of the classroom. I always wanted to make them into real songs but I never really went for it or had friends to start a band with. I wrote a lot of "lyrics" and "poetry" when I was manic that I thought was genius but, looking abck at it, it was total gibberish.
But when my head cleared, I started writing lyrics again. I was tryingi to capture how I was feeling at the time and write it down so my future self could go back and remember what that period of my life was like. That's what I need to strese--I wrote these songs for myself, writing the things I thoguht I needed to hear.Then I got myself a USB microphone and started recordingi the songs so I could hear those lyrics later on. It really helped me out, and nothing cleared my head more than when I was recording my songs., I needed that at that point in my life. I didn't tell anyone about my songs until my sister (who had a habit of stealing CDs from my car without asking me) stole a copy of my CD and later asked me if I made one. She responded really positively to it and encouraged me to share it, so I gave it to a few people at group who really wanted to hear my songs when I brought up my songwriting at group and they repsonded well to the songs too. They said they actually helped them out, and I think that's why I'm putting them up here--if one song helps one person it's worth everyoen else thinking I suck. Listen, I know I'm not going to win any singing contests any time soon but this is a thing I have that I can fall back on when I need to clear my head or express myself in a different kind of way than I do with my other forms of creative outlets. So don't expect musical genius, but if you want to hear what I've made, take a listen.
I enocurage everyone to find soemthing like that they can do for thesmelves as a way to express yoruself and get through the tough times. I learn things about myself and my illness when I'm writing lyrics all the time. At group, I always stress how important hobbies are so I thought I'd share mine with everyone.